HAPPY FATHERS DAY IS FOR MEN! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!

This post is a day late but it still needs to be done. First of all, Happy Father's Day to all the males that have reproduced or cared for children. Yes, I did say MALES. As I was reading my Facebook page yesterday there were a lot of women telling other women Happy Father's Day. I understand that there are single mothers by the boat load in today's society. However, that doesn't make you a father....just a mother with a child that lacks a father.

Raising a child alone or even separately from the father is a hard pill to swallow. I don't think anyone had a child with the intention to raise him/her alone. But mothers we have to real and understand that we are women...not men...and we can be the best mothers, providers, protectors, all of the above...but we will never be able to take the place of our child's father. When this phrase is used to other women, I'm sure its all out of love but its actually a process that is further tearing our men down. When you tell a woman Happy Father's Day...you saying you can do what a man is meant to do. Essentially he isn't needed. It is a way to smother the hurt of being the parent left to alter their lives for the well-being of the child. "I don't need you anyway so I can' be hurt. I can do what you do."

Ladies, lets be honest. It does hurt to be a single mother. Its hurts the mother and the child. But we as mother's perpetuate this pain by subliminally showing our daughters and our sons that a man isn't needed. If he doesn't step up....us women can handle it. So when your daughter grows up she wont really expect a man to be accountable because she has been taught that she can do a man's job. And your son will not know his true responsibility as a man, what has he seen a man be accountable for? He will assume that if he leaves things will be fine because...woman can be fathers just as well as men. Regardless of what you tell your children, they mimic what they see.

Woman, sometimes we have to accept some of the blame as well. We throw deadbeat around so carelessly aiming at the egos of our men. Is this always necessary? Are you constantly telling your man/BD that he isn't needed and then surprised when he finally disappears for good. Yes sometimes our emotions get the best of us and men have been known to do very foul things...trust me. But when you look at your children these are little people you would go to war for, kill for, even die for. Well your children need a healthy sense of family as well. Family is mother AND father. If your child's father is not here (remember you picked him) still let your child know who he is. Honor the fact that he has a father. Women that are widowed don't suddenly become father's because the man isn't physically present anymore. That child still has a father..he just doesn't see him anymore. When you are able to let go of the pain of making a bad choice, or having a harder life, and decide to put your child's well being first the future will be a much brighter road.

Moving forward in other relationships with the "I can play a mans role" attitude will land with a man that believes just that. And will wonder why your situation is repeating itself. Have you ever seen a woman with multiple baby daddy's and they all left and now all of us sudden..."all men ain't sh*t." Now she believes Father's Day was made specifically for her. No...that attitude can get you "Bad Choices Day" or "I Want To Play Victim Day" or better yet "I Refuse to Change For the Better Day". As hard as it is to accept that your child's father, the person you created this wonderful life with does not want to participate in the rearing process...you still have to play your role as mother only. That's all you can be. Your child may be shorted a father for the time-being but don't short them on the structure of what a family is.

The best example is the fact that most single moms were raised by single moms. And I'm sure she celebrated Fathers Day or make it stick that she was the mother/father and she did a great job being both parents. That was embedded in you and subconsciously that's what played out.A father wasn't needed...so a father isn't there. Not having a father is accepted as the norm and it should not be at all. A child with one parent is like a child with one leg...crippled in life.

By no means am I excluding the men that run from their responsibilities....men really need to develop and lead the family. But ladies we have to put our pride and hurt away and let them know THEY ARE NEEDED. And that we don't want HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.