Ok, youre already broken up with your child's father and to add insult to injury he is seeing someone new. Thats fine, something most women can deal with but what fuels your fire is that he is allowing the new girl to be around your child. Now the shit hits the fan. Can we all just get along? While there are some situations that work, I am not a firm believer in the "girlfriend" and child mix.
Men need to know that indeed you have a right to move on with your life but your child doesnt have to be subjected to whomever you choose to date. I have always respected men that kept their children and dating life seperate. It shows how sacred their children are to them, that everyone isnt privy to meet their acquaintance.
Its far fetched for one to believe the mother of the child is going to show an out pour of respect for the new lady that the dad is dating. What reason would she have to trust, respect, or even be cordial with this person? She would just be another stranger that she feels she should protect her child from. If the father hasnt shown the new girl the respect of making the relationship serious (engaged) why should the mother of the child take it serious or respect it for that matter.
New girlfriends should know that they are walking on marked territory whether one wants to believe or not. The mother of the child is always going to be around and should always be considered. If the new girlfriend feels as though she cannot accept the mother of the child or feels slighted by her presence then there will always be a problem..because she is omnipresent. Even part of his paycheck belongs to this other woman. Dont believe it...new girlfriend...try and move out of town and see what he says....try and make any decision that involves him and he is going to have to ask her.
Fathers, look at your new mate and honestly ask this question...will this person be in my life next year....the next five years....a lifetime. If you cannot honestly answer yes, well then...Miss Lady should not be in the presence of your child. Because your child will definitely be there next year, next five years, and yes... a lifetime. Spend the time you do have with your child...with your child. Most fathers that are not with the mothers dont see their child as often as a father in the home. So when you do spend time with your child dont force them to spend time with your date as well. Sometimes you have to put your wants aside and focus on your child. Through all of this, they should come first. And a woman worth being with should understand that.
If you have answered yes, then you should be mature enough, respectful enough, and mindful enough to introduce this woman not only to your child but to their mother as well. She has a right to know and meet who is going to be around her child. To try and dismiss her and claim its your personal life will only lead to dangerous episodes. Women have a divine right to protect their young. And what we dont know, we project as danger.
Please post your opinions on the blog. I would love to hear from the fathers and also woman that are dating a man with a child. Please follow and keep in touch. Thanks
Men need to know that indeed you have a right to move on with your life but your child doesnt have to be subjected to whomever you choose to date. I have always respected men that kept their children and dating life seperate. It shows how sacred their children are to them, that everyone isnt privy to meet their acquaintance.
Its far fetched for one to believe the mother of the child is going to show an out pour of respect for the new lady that the dad is dating. What reason would she have to trust, respect, or even be cordial with this person? She would just be another stranger that she feels she should protect her child from. If the father hasnt shown the new girl the respect of making the relationship serious (engaged) why should the mother of the child take it serious or respect it for that matter.
New girlfriends should know that they are walking on marked territory whether one wants to believe or not. The mother of the child is always going to be around and should always be considered. If the new girlfriend feels as though she cannot accept the mother of the child or feels slighted by her presence then there will always be a problem..because she is omnipresent. Even part of his paycheck belongs to this other woman. Dont believe it...new girlfriend...try and move out of town and see what he says....try and make any decision that involves him and he is going to have to ask her.
Fathers, look at your new mate and honestly ask this question...will this person be in my life next year....the next five years....a lifetime. If you cannot honestly answer yes, well then...Miss Lady should not be in the presence of your child. Because your child will definitely be there next year, next five years, and yes... a lifetime. Spend the time you do have with your child...with your child. Most fathers that are not with the mothers dont see their child as often as a father in the home. So when you do spend time with your child dont force them to spend time with your date as well. Sometimes you have to put your wants aside and focus on your child. Through all of this, they should come first. And a woman worth being with should understand that.
If you have answered yes, then you should be mature enough, respectful enough, and mindful enough to introduce this woman not only to your child but to their mother as well. She has a right to know and meet who is going to be around her child. To try and dismiss her and claim its your personal life will only lead to dangerous episodes. Women have a divine right to protect their young. And what we dont know, we project as danger.
Please post your opinions on the blog. I would love to hear from the fathers and also woman that are dating a man with a child. Please follow and keep in touch. Thanks
I must say Delsi, I really do enjoy reading your blogs. I became a father at a young age, and I couldn't imagine not being closely involved in raising my own child! I've never understood the selfish nature of some "men" that avoid their responsiblity as a Father. Like you, I also love to mentor to younger men, mainly my nephews, on how to conduct themselves as respectful young men, and to just be a good person in general. I enjoy being their rolemodel and having a positive impact on their lives. This post showed a lot of insight on things many men may not give much thought to. Like introducing your childs mother to the new girlfriend. A lot of guys might think that it's "Asking for trouble" But if it's done in a respectful way and everyone is mature about it, then it would be the best thing for the child and the relationships. Your new Follower "please don't take that in a creepy way" Lol -Nick-
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful to see men who play active roles in the lives of their kids. Fathers are more important than they realize.
ReplyDelete