How are you good people? Thank you so much for reading my last post. I had a lot on my chest. Well, today I am having an issue understanding something....the defintion of a friend. Naw, not the buddy you played in the sandbox with, and not your homegirl that takes your weave down for you. You know, the friend with benefits??? Or is it the friend the benefits from sleeping with you? This is suppose to be an arrangement where the two involved are not dating, exclusive, or any type of committment but when the time comes to slap monkeys...they call one another. Ladies, is this really what we have been reduced to? Are we really sleeping with men that not only have no plans to ever marry us but now to add insult to injury wont even put you on the girlfriend list....you are his homie that he screws...when he is available to screw you.
Ok, I know a lot of chics are saying this is the new age way to date and claim they are totally cool with it. Im sure a lot of you are saying that it helps keep your options open and youre able to date other men. Girl please, that man has tricked you so good you believe that bologna he feeding you.
When a woman accepts the role as the friend with "benefits" she is placing herself at an all time low in the man's eyes. Now he has blatantly let you know there will be no relationship and he still gets the goods. Most of the women involved in this seem to think that one day he will change his mind and must have some feelings for you because he is sleeping with you so much. WRONG! A man knows what he wants and it doesnt take him anytime to figure out if youre a keeper. If he wanted to be with you he would commit to you, and sex is not a commitment to a man. He wants your vagina....but tolerates you! If he is keeping you around it is only until Ms. Right shows up and then youre out of the picture. You fooling yourself if you think that you can continuously give your body to man and not want anything else. You will begin to get jealous and want more of his time. You wont get it and that jealousy act will just get you out of the picture faster.
For all you who dont get it, let me explain it to you like a child...
GUY: I dont want anything from you but your body. I will not do anything for you or have any emotion towards you.
GIRL: Ok, I will sleep with you because I believe you will change your mind. My sex is so good that it will make you love me.
GUY: Whatever you say. Your sex is just like the other women I am sleeping with. You can hear what you want to hear but I am telling you the truth. It is only sex to me.
GIRL: Why dont you want to be with me? Im attached to you now.
GUY: I could never be with a woman that I didnt have to earn. Hell, even a prostitute gets paid. Free samples are never worth buying. Line clicking...call ya back.
GIRL: Hello? Hello?
Ladies, if this is the only way the you think you can have an attachment with a guy PLEASE understand that its false and you will only be left with hurt, pain, and sorrow. Treat your body like you treat your new clothes...you keep them off the floor and dont loan them out. If a guy tells you that this is what he wants UNDERSTAND that he will NEVER be with you the way that you want. Be STILL, be PATIENT, be CHASTE, and WAIT for that man to buy the cow..... and not just drink your mik!
Great post! So true, it is crazy to think that people think this is a great arrangement. It works both ways too. I have seen women do guys like this, and the guy was genuinely diggin the chick, but she just wanted his sex & money and nothing else. Soon as someone better for her came around it was a wrap! But like you said, it is definitely more prevalent in women, who think that they can change a guy with sex (or even children, money, etc). It never works out and always just opens the door for more problems!
ReplyDeleteI have to totally disagree with this because maybe just as well as he is not willing to commit to you you may not want to commit to him. Maybe all the woman thinks that he is good for is sex. I've had what is no longer called a friend with benefits but a cuddy buddy and though we are no longer intimate. we are still the best of friends and I wouldn't trade him for the world that is my boo and he will forver be special to me and vice versa. there are time when I least expect it and he will call out the blue not for sex but just to say hello or something sweet or her will send me a sweet love song. It can be done without him losing respect for you. So I desagree solely from experience.
ReplyDeleteLaTonya, there is always an exception to the rule but as a whole this type of relationship doesnt work out. I know so many woman (one I talked to today) that have said they want more but will settle for what they can get. They cant leave the dude alone because they have feelings for him and they feel something is better than nothing. (You know Ron wouldnt make Mia a FWB(insider))
ReplyDeleteWillie, this can also be applied to men for sure! The next guy is the best guy! It is just as of late I have been hearing a lot of women complain and I personally have made some wrong moves, so I wanted to focus on what we can do better as women! Thanks for posting you guys!!!
Great post, its true that the situation can work both ways but we know women are quicker to seek an emotional attachment. Once a woman decides that her body is a temple and should be treated as so she will then figure out that you can't give a boyfriend or "jumpoff" wife benefits. Because the favor will never have the same return!
ReplyDeleteDesiree then spoke her peace. My girl Des!
ReplyDeleteGREAT POST!! And I Soo agree with everything that you are
ReplyDeleteSaying delsi... some women get caught up in all
The drama-- and begin looking for love in
All the wrong places...and La'tonya.. I been there myself...and I'm still
Cool with my "cuddy buddy" and he was a carring and understand guy.. BUT STILL i deserve more...and I had 2 stop... I was just filling
Avoid that only God could feel for me...Some women are
Not as strong, were they can just walk away or not get caught up...
Sex is never just sex no matter what disclaimer a person adds to it...It a soul Connection to who ever you lay down with...,you're sleeping with everyone
Your partner has slept with including all of their demons... Your body Is a temple and should be treated as such... 2 good things at the wrong time will still make a messy situation...
just because he what I needed at that time,
Didn't make the situation good or alright... What
If a child came out of our little rondevu
Than 2 people who with no intentions of being together would have had a messy situation....THE VALUE OF ALL WOMEN ARE WORTH FAR MORE THAN SIDELINE AND "CUDDY BUDDIES"...
LadyDiva, you did your thing right there! Sleeping with the demons....wow!
ReplyDelete