Thank you again for following my blog. Let me say that this website is by no means meant to demean or judge anyone woman. Most of the issues are very similiar to those that I have personally been through and have come to grips with. I believe that we as women have to start a healing process and accept some of the responsibility for our emotional failures. That is the only way that we will begin to see a difference. I will say it again, MEN DO MESS UP, but this blog is not for them it is for us.
Moving forward, I saw Tyler Perry's latest box office hit...Madea's Family Reunion and overall I am glad that I saw it. I am not a T. Perry basher at all but I did notice a common theme in the story....Negative depictions of Black Women. Was Perry lying? Not really. We have such a flawed view of who we really are. The world sees this angry, bitter, super-independent, she-man...aka the black woman. This is a false representation of who we really are but sometimes we make it hard for the world to see the softer side of the black woman. Lets take a look at the characters and if you can see yourself in them lets suggest some changes for that.
THE CRAZY BABYMAMA...
Even though this character was young we see her all the time. She is upset because she doesnt have the man she thought would come with the child. Or the man has abandoned her to mate with another. She is worrisome, childish, spiteful, and petty. She uses the child as leverage to attack the man so that he hurts just as much as she does. I understand the lose of family, I really can see why the this behavior happens. Solution: Ladies, we cannot keep making babies for men that are only there for the moment. If you cannot withhold your sex, then USE a form(s) of birth control! Dont put yourself in this position and then get mad at him. A man has a way of detaching from you regardless of a child if he never loved you. Eventually he can ditch the kid too if youre that big of a pain! That man will leave and start a new life. You know if you GO RAW there is a chance for a baby. Hell, even if you use a condom things happen. If a man wants you to have his baby, DEMAND that he marries you first. Then at least you wont be the crazy baby mama.....just the crazy ex-wife!
THE GOLD DIGGER
Men are meant to provide, however, they are not meant to be used. If you want a man with a Benz, a collasal home, and endless money....you had better be able to bring something comparable to the table. A pretty face and banging body wont cut it either. Men also have expectations and require a suitable mate. Solution: Dont make it a requirement when you cannot do it yourself.
THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN
The sister that was a successful realtor hid behind all of her accomplishments. She felt it was ok to look down on people because of the things that she had acquired. We all saw that she was actually a very insecure woman that used her material advances as a mask. No woman really wants to be 100% independent of a man. Remember, hurt people...hurt people. Solution: Be strong enough to be weak.
THE BITTER WOMAN:
The other sister had no respect for her man, in fact even her children didnt respect the father. She was mean and controlling and made it impossible to love her. In real life, she was setting herself up for a major affair or huge divorce. No one wants to come home to a bitter woman. You dont get positive results with a negative attitude. Solution: Check your attitude at the door and understand that you arent perfect either.
Black women, though we have our own set of unique issues we are NOT these women. We are a beautiful, strong, loving, nurturing group of women. And dont ever forget that.
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